A tantrum is an emotional outburst of ill humor or a fit of bad temper wherein the higher brain functions are unable to stop the emotional expression of the lower (emotional and physical) brain functions. It can be categorized by an irrational fit of crying, screaming, defiance, and a resistance to every attempt at pacification in which even physical control is lost. Even when the "goal" of the person is met, he or she is not calmed.
Well, if you read the definition above, i supposed you know what i'm getting at... that's right, my 13 month old threw his first real fit. And others were there to confirm and witness it. A tired baby, in a strange place, him not knowing what he wanted himself, and us not being able to calm him down. Floyd ended up sticking him in the carseat to drive him around for 20mins just to settle him back down. Embarassing, Heartwrenching, Confusing, Exhausting... but part of life. An area we have never had to delve into before.
Naturally, this event sends me scouring the web for parenting advice... I need wisdom in this arena... how to lovingly respond to our child when the reason he is upset is because he isn't getting his way? Where to start when he is really too young to communicate back to me, but still is asserting a human nature all to familiar... Could it be that the Lord allowed him to get the same stubborn streak his mom has? Eeeek.....
This is the rest i found today: "The wise in heart are called discerning, and pleasant words promote instruction" Proverbs 16:21. I strongly believe that God has placed us in our child's life to deliver this message at all moments of his life: that we live in God's world, under His authority, and He desires goodness and mercy for us all the days of our life. For that reason I must bring the grace of God into his life through firm correction, but my words must flow from gratitude to God for placing me in a position to lead him to the mercies of Christ. Only with that understanding can i calmly and firmly learn to discipline him rightly, and so that the issue of importance is NOT my convenience, but showing him the importance of obeying and honoring God.
I've got TOOO much to learn.
4 comments:
Yeah--let me know how you handle these b/c I'm sure I'll need your advice on this in the future!
For what its worth, I've found that the bigger reaction you have to their tantrum, the bigger tantrum you get. I try to let mine take a moment and gather it up before injecting my own opinions/reasoning/attempts to help him be rational. Granted, it's harder when they're younger (or maybe sadder - not sur eI'm using the right word here because it's more frustrating when they're older), but you also get the benefit of plausible deniability because you can't be certain what they want if they can't talk. :-)
I feel for you!
Your delightful stubborn nature will help you persevere, My Dear!! I did with you - but you will have the distinct advantage of being able to pre-think what he's going to be thinking if he so obviously has your same delightful stubborn streak in him!
At least you can put it all into words! Anna has already started the tantrum thing, yet i'm sure they will escalade in the next few months...when my time comes i'll call you and get advice! i've been reading a really great book that focuses on the child's heart more than the behavior...it's called Shepherding a Child's Heart by Ted Tripp. HOpe that helps. You're a great mom!!
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